Finding the Joy

Remember how in my last entry I mentioned that I needed a good rainy day or weekend to sort of justify my grouchiness and grumpiness?  Then I hit publish thinking that wasn’t going to happen because you don’t get multiple rainy days here in Charleston – you get oppressively hot and bright days where the sun beats down on you and the humidity smothers your entire being then in the evening, you might get a really really good thunderstorm as the weather breaks but it’s always back to the same thing the next morning.

Except that following morning, I was startled awake by the sound of Baxter freaking out and of course, being the mama bear I am when it comes to the fur babies, I shot out of bed and ran through the house looking for him only to find him having a literal shit fit at the patio door because he had been caught in a torrential downpour.  This is all fairly uncommon for him as not only has he NOT figured out to bark at the door when he’s ready to come in but he also seemed no where near as affected by thunderstorms and rain as Sammy, who cowers in fear if he hears a storm on TV.

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Grim

Every time I turned around this weekend, there was death.  It was in Norway and London.  It was all over the local news, with bodies found behind grocery stores and boaters driving into piers.  And it was a bit closer to home than I preferred, as a friend of mine lost someone to a drunk driver and a former coworker was gunned down in a murder suicide while leaving work on Friday evening.

For the most part, I wasn’t personally connected to any of these, with maybe the former coworker being the exception, but our acquaintance was rather vague since she worked at a different branch than I did and most of our interactions were over the phone and through help desk tickets.  Regardless, all of these events just seemed to mushroom into this huge black cloud of darkness and grimness that has plagued my mood throughout the past few days.

It’s strange because I can’t exactly explain how I feel or necessarily justify why all of this should affect me.  It’s certainly not something that I could use as an excuse to, say, call off of work or stay in bed and pull the covers over my head.  It’s not personal.

But it’s a grim look into a really crappy state of human affairs and that could have it’s toll on anyone.  Sure, we all go on with our lives because they weren’t people we knew but every once in awhile, that reminder of what happened or the thought that there are people suffering because of senseless violence or stupid decisions creeps back into the recesses of your brain and that sadness just settles into a small part of the heart.

It is sad and painful to think of how far that kind of suffering reaches and most of the time, you just don’t let it get to you but then you remember that people are out there grieving and you remember that it wasn’t so long ago that you grieved and you really don’t wish that kind of pain on anyone.

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Case of the Mondays

I woke up this morning with a bad case of the Mondays that just never seemed to go away.  And it was my own fault because I pretty much went to bed last night thinking I was going to be miserable this morning.  And I am nothing if not predictable – as in, if I think something is going to be a certain way it’s safe to say that regardless of the outcome, I will have convinced myself that yes, this is exactly the way I predicted it to be.

So this morning – huge sucky case of the Mondays.  Commence ass kicking.  Whatever.

(found here)

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