For the most part, the weekend has been a leisurely one. Spent another Friday at home drinking wine and reading Gone Girl. The plan was actually to play Skyrim but I got so engrossed in the book that I picked up it back immediately when I woke on Saturday morning and read until I finished it at noon. Then I spent the afternoon lazily preparing for friends to come over to celebrate the “unbirthday” of one of our close friends. By lazily, I mean that I would pick things up slowly, vacuum then sit on the couch for a bit. Just had a hard time getting going. Then we brought the evening in with dinner and dessert (brownie sundaes! mixed berry tarts!) and an all around jovial time where us women folk sat in the kitchen and chatted (lovingly referred to by our husbands as “hating!”) and the men sat cross legged in front of the XBox like little kids.
And today was nothing short of a lazy suburban Sunday. Cuddled with my husband and the puppies when I woke up then we decided to hit up Sam’s to replinish some of the bulk items we’d run out of. Go in with a short list and come out with more than double what I had written down, but in our defense, all things that we will put to good use or will make our lives easier. Also, delicious fresh cut fruit and lunch meats and fresh rolls for quick and easy meals throughout the week. Spent the rest of the afternoon surfing the Internet and cuddling with the dogs while Steve worked on his car. Now we’re just biding our time waiting for Breaking Bad to come on – he’s playing Battlefield and I’m going to settle in and blow through my current literary entree, Insurgent.
Either that, or I’m going to convince him to play catch up on the True Blood episodes that we’re behind on. (Mostly because we have yet to reach an episode this season where Alcide is shirtless and I know it’s happened so I NEED TO SEE THAT!)
But in the interest of talking about random life stuff, I leave you with this because it’s all my brain has tonight.
There are days when I wish had I more hours. There are weeks when I wish I had the luxury of not working and be able to do nothing but things I enjoy. I just always feel like I’m juggling three thousand things, between things I have to do (*cough* work *cough*) and things I want do (everything else in life!). Eventually, I have to let some balls drop in order to make sure others stay in the air.
This was most of January.
The thing I have to keep telling myself is that this is not ALL OR NOTHING.
This is not go out and spend a hundred bucks on workout clothes that would eventually be used for lounging on the couch.
This is not buy a gym membership that will never get used or an expensive workout machine that will only collect dust or clothes in the corner of the bedroom.
This is not cut everything out of my diet. This is not eat Lean Cuisine’s for lunch and sneak the Weight Watchers shortcuts in that still aren’t the best choices (pudding, Rice Krispie treats, etc.).
This is not work out one night and eat healthy for a day and step on the scale to see a loss of five pounds.
This is not a diet. This is not a program that lasts until I reach a goal weight and then everything goes to shit and the pounds pack back on.
This is a lifestyle change. It is a slow process. It is the build up to a different way of living, to making healthier choices without depriving myself of the deliciousness that this world offers.
It is learning to enjoy moving my body and the adrenaline rush that comes after a long and sweaty workout. It is knowing I am going to sleep like a rock and wake up feeling refreshed in the morning because I didn’t skip my work out. It is knowing I can go out and be active, whether it’s hiking in the mountains or riding the ATV’s we plan to buy, without getting winded or holding up the group.
It is knowing that I can have those Reese’s Peanut Butter Miniatures or those French fries but I’m going to have to work for them later. It is not really wanting either of those things in the capacity that I used to, knowing that one or two will satisfy the craving and that I won’t ever feel gross or sick to my stomach because I just kept shoving the crap in my pie hole because it was SO DELICIOUS and I DIDN’T WANT TO WASTE IT!
“And just like that, another weekend gone!”
Inevitably, if you live in my house, this is what you will hear at least one time on Sunday. It is such a strange day around here as we are partly sad that the weekend is coming to a close. And yet, when I sit down on a day like today and my house is clean, my tummy is full, the laundry is spinning in the dryer and almost all of my to-do list is checked off, there’s a part of me that is equally satisfied that I have put another week of accomplishments behind me and can start anew.
Aside from accomplished, if I had to pick a word that summed up last week, it would be: MODIFY [1. Note: this word applies specifically to me personally. If I had to pick one that summed up my household as a whole, it would be SKYRIM because that game is literally all that’s been going on in this house between the two of us. It’s not a competition, per se, it’s just that we’re both pretty addicted to it so you’ll find us doing things like rushing to beat the other one home from work to claim the XBox. It is shameful!]
With it being the first week of the month and the first week of the New Year, I figured it was time for me to start making good on some of the resolutions and goals I had set. The key here is that I’m not throwing myself into them full force only to burn out in a few weeks as I have done in the past. Rather, I am making small modifications in my life that I hope will help me develop better habits that will last me through the year and the rest of my life.