You know what really grinds my gears?
THIS …..
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Kristy
Hello, my name is Kristy and I am addicted to TV!
Actually, addiction might be too strong of a word, especially these days. It used to be bad – I’m talking watching every piece of trash they put on VH1 or MTV. Then I discovered Bravo and TLC and it was over. But in the past year or so, I made a pact with myself to stop watching the trash and allow myself time to enjoy the quality stuff while actually, you know, going out to live my life! That does not preclude me, however, from feeling all the giddiness at the return of some of my favorites shows and waiting with anticipation at some of the new shows.
I’m not even kidding, I treat Fall TV like back to school season. I do some research, decide which shows I want to try out then pull out my spreadsheet and start plotting out my DVR schedule. Since I only have two tuners, I can only record two things at once and at times, this can be a problem, usually Thursday nights. I could also probably watch one in the bedroom but then I’d have to sequester myself in the bedroom and take the chance that someone *ahem* in the house doesn’t realize two things are recording and god forbid, accidentally cancel one.
Hello, my name is Kristy and I am the TV Nazi!
But in all seriousness, it is that time of year to when there’s a bit of a crisp in the morning air, the fall scents start showing up in stores and the new seasons of shows start and I. AM. READY!
So I’m here to present you with my “State of the TV Address” which really is just me showing you what I’ll be watching this Fall.
Eighteen. That’s how old I was when I got my license. Unlike most kids my age, learning to drive just wasn’t up there on my priority list, which is amazing to me now because I LOVE to drive, for the most part. (When we exclude eleven hour car trips and daily commutes, and even the commutes weren’t so bad.) It was also amazing because I worked in high school. I got my first job as a sophomore, when I was maybe fifteen. I worked in the Men’s Department at Sears and thought I was the shit because I had to dress up and at that age, I hadn’t yet learned that wearing heels was not a good idea for a job you had to stand on your feet for hours on end.
But I worked in the mall from fifteen up until long after I got a license and a car. And you’d think being forced to take the bus would spur my interests in obtaining my license and essentially, my freedom. I can’t tell you why except it just was something that never felt like it needed to be a top priority. Between a very busy and heavy AP/Honors workload at school and my job, I didn’t feel like making time, maybe. My parents had also explained that I would need to pay my own way and get my own car as well as have limited access to their vehicles and since I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do either on my paltry part-time retail wages, I just didn’t even bother.
The first time I drove by myself was to my high school graduation, in my parents red Grand Prix.
A week after I started driving, I got my first ticket: for turning left on a red light. Because I wasn’t paying attention or some synapses weren’t firing correctly in my brain. I thought it was a stop sign so I treated it like on. Stopped, look both ways and went. With a cop RIGHT BEHIND ME!
I’ve been forced back into my Benadryl habit since I decided to forgo it Monday night and woke up the next morning feeling like someone was sitting on face and keeping me from breathing while simultaneously scratching my eyes out.
This means tonight you get an annotated entry which is basically just me telling you about Wednesday’s joy.
— The lady I was following on the moped on my way into work. In her floaty skirt, bright yellow heels and Ladybug helmet.
— A coworker bringing her three week old little girl in all swathed in pink with that dewy newborn hair and squishy little baby face.
— Realizing that I am in good with the one department that no one else is and getting them to do the stuff for me they normally make everyone else wait on.
— Sally Hansen Crackle Nail Polish overcoat in Ink Splatter
— Mad Men. (OMG y’all, I am so late to the party on this one.)
— The Talk. We’ve had this on in the breakroom at lunch and I really enjoy the dynamic of Sharon Osbourne, Sarah Gilbert, Leah Remini and Holly Robinson Peete. And Julie Chen.
And just to throw in things that are not awesome or joyful but I have remained relatively calm about because shit happens and that’s life.
— Baxter has tapeworms, which is literally the grossest ‘effing thing I have ever seen in my life. We started finding what looked like dried rice pellets in place where he slept (i.e. OUR BED, which is vomit inducing itself) and the moment Steve Googled it he realized they were dried tapeworm eggs that secrete from the butt and just kind of hang out back there. And needless to say, when we checked his poop – there were definitely visible. This is not life-threatening and it’s not uncommon for dogs to get them (it’s usually caused by them eating something they shouldn’t – like a flea or a lizard or rodent – and, well Baxter hunts and eats everything). It had not affected his behavior. It just means he had to take a pill and we have to wash EVERYTHING that we have found his ass nuggets on (and fabulous term coined by Steve – let’s see the fun the search engines have with that one!). It also means he has to sleep away from us and we would really prefer he keep his worm butt as far away as possible.
Until then, I’ll be in the corner vomiting. From all the wine I drank to forget about the worms. Then I’ll pass out because of the Benadryl.
Oh LIFE, you are awesome!
Image found here.
The Smoky Mountains are a rare jewel. … Why not have a place where you can still see the stars? There is a value to keeping things primitive. – James Dawson
Today’s joy is only this: in October, Steve and I are packing up the pups and taking a road trip to Gatlinburg, Tennessee where we plan to spend an entire week enjoying the Great Smoky Mountains in the Autumn and each other’s company.