June has just flown by for me and it seems like our summer never really got started since we went right from Memorial Day into handling all of this. But seeing as how today is the first day of summer, I’d figured I’d share a little summer to-do list with you all since I have my heart set on just letting go and enjoying things this season. It really kind of helps to make those long hot and humid days less drawn out and monotonous and give us something to look forward to.
Mandi did this a few weeks back so I figured I’d steal it so I could have some content (and it seemed like fun so whatever!)
A. Age: 30 (ewww!)
B. Bed size: King. Hands down one of the first things Steve and I agreed on after buying the house.
C. Chore that you hate: Unloading dishes & folding laundry. Note that it’s the follow through I have issues with.
D. Dogs: Sammy, my terrier that’s nothing but fur and teeth and Baxter, the newest addition to the family.
E. Essential start to your day: Diet Dr. Pepper. Seriously, I need at least one, if not two.
F. Favourite color: Purple or blue.
G. Gold or Silver: Silver. I don’t wear any gold jewelry and I am appalled by people who mix metals. Pet peeve I guess.
H. Height: 5’7″, maybe a tad shorter.
I. Instruments you play: None. I took violin when I was little and I have a keyboard that lights up the keys for the song but I don’t think either of those count.
J. Job title: Systems Analyst (glorified Help Desk and IT Geek)
K. Kids: None. Probably not in the future.
L. Live: Charleston, South Carolina; where there’s a little but of grace and charm left in the world.
M. Mother’s name: Sandy
N. Nicknames: Kristy is a nickname because my full name if Kristen. Steve calls me babe or baby.
O. Overnight hospital stays: One when I was young and had to have my appendix out. I was 8, I believe.
P. Pet peeve: Too many to list and enough for me to think I’m going to be a crabby old lady (or already am)!
Q. Quote from a movie: Stop looking at me Swan!
R. Right or left handed: Left
S. Siblings: I’m the oldest of five. One brother is my full brother. Two sisters from my dad’s second marriage. And one brother from my mom’s second marriage.
T. Time you wake up: My alarm goes off at 6. I get out of bed around 6:30am. On weekends, I’m usually out by 8 or 9.
U. Underwear: None of yo’ business.
V. Vegetable you hate: Spinach by itself. Or brussel sprouts. I’m not too fond of tomatoes by themselves either.
W. What makes you run late: The dogs. And getting sidetracked by the TV or my phone.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Teeth, arm, feet and I’ve had two MRI’s done.
Y. Yummy food that you make: According to Steve, pretty much everything I make is yummy. But I’m particularly fond of my lasagna and baked ziti.
Z. Zoo animal: Lions and tigers. I love the big cats.
Well, now that I’ve got this out of my system I can move on and talk about other things.
Meet Baxter [1. Steve named him that because he looks almost like the dog from the movie The Mask. Except I literally just found out while searching for that link that the dog’s name was not, in fact, Baxter but Milo. Awesome.], the new addition to our family.
On Saturday, after we had gotten back from spending the day at the hospital with Grandpa and before life fell apart, we were walking Sammy around Grandma’s yard. My grandparents have always lived on the outskirts of town where the houses are not close enough to be neighbors but the yards are big enough to need a riding lawnmower. So we’re walking Sammy and we see these two dogs come running up – one is fluffy and border collie looking. It stayed far enough away from us but kept barking it’s head off.
The other one was this guy.
Yesterday I was driving home from work and I realized I had slipped into this zombie mode; meaning that I pretty much just zoned out the entire six minute trip from work to the house only semi-alert to my surroundings but overall just kind of operating on auto-pilot. And then I realized I’d pretty much been operating like that for the past three weeks or so.
My grandpa died around 3am on Monday, June 6 2011.
And I have been desperately trying to cope with this. I am still unsure of how to function in a world and a life without him because for 30 years of ups and downs and divorces with my parents and moving to various places around the country, Grandpa and Grandma were one of the only constants I had in my life. And now it’s just Grandma.
And my heart hurts because I miss him terribly. And my heart hurts for my Grandma because I cannot fathom how I could cope living without someone after living with them for fifty-two years.
I am better now than I was that morning. I am better now than I was this past weekend. But I will never be the same.
I was going to make a joke about how we’re all still here (you know, with The Rapture That Didn’t Happen) but I guess we’re all kind of over it now and to be truthfully honest, I’m not in much of a joking mood.
I’ve had a rough couple of days and I am physically and emotionally exhausted right now. Work has been busy (which I guess is in direct contrast to what I had been complaining about last time — I always figured it would ebb and flow and I’d have slow times and crazy times). We’re in the middle of renovating our department’s physical space, which is being done in phases and of course, as the local IT nerd, I get the pleasure and joy of moving all of the computer equipment each time we enter a new phase. Yesterday and today were the biggest ones yet as I was emptying a storage closet, moving and reconnecting all of the computers in our reception area and moving NINE large systems for our treatment planning department. That’s a lot of lugging and dust slinging and crawling under tables — I joked to my boss that he owed me a manicure because I’m pretty sure I ripped every nail off it’s nail bed.